Today everybodysgood.com is proud to introduce our FIRST guest blogger: Kelly Clark from the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley...

April 18-24, 2010 is National Crime Victims’ Rights Week.  This week represents an opportunity for us to remember our family, friends and neighbors who have been victimized by crime.  It also gives us a time to pause and consider the condition of our society, the health of our communities and ourselves. Unfortunately, many of us find ourselves victims of discrimination or violent crime. Nationally, anti-lgbt discrimination and physical abuse have been on the rise over the last few years. Domestic violence happens at the same rates in same-sex relationships as in straight ones, meaning that 25-33% of our relationships are not safe.

We also know that people in the LGBT community are less likely to reach out for help after victimization. This is understandable given the level of heterosexism and homo/transphobia in our society.  Unfortunately it is easy for youth and adults to fear the very people who are supposed to be there to help – school personnel, police, emergency room staff, lawyers, and judges. None-the-less, seeking help after trauma is important self-care and important to increase our resilience to victimization.

So here is your Crime Victims’ Rights Week homework assignment: Sit down and make a pact with your friends that if anyone is victimized at anytime for any reason you will call on each other for support.

How do you support a friend who has faced discrimination or trauma? 
·    First believe them! Sit quietly and listen. Some stories are hard to hear and can seem unbelievable. This is often a hallmark of a hate crime. The events can be so horrendous that it seems it can’t be true.
·    Don’t judge and most importantly believe what your friend is telling you. Your friend may disclose that his/her partner is abusive. This is especially hard to hear if that person is also your friend. Many domestic violence survivors report that friends did not believe stories of violence. Chances are if your friend has enough trust in you to tell you about abuse, it is true.
·    Don’t offer advice or tell what you would do in that situation.
·    Ask a simple question, “How can I help?” or “What do you want to do next?”
·    Offer to go with your friend to the proper authorities or to help make a call to the Gay Alliance Anti-Violence Project where a Victim Advocate can provide professional and confidential support. But don’t push. Knowing you are there is important, it may take some time for your friend to be ready to seek additional help.

Planning ahead of time what to do can help us keep a clear head in the middle of a crisis. Making the decision to exercise self-care ahead of time can increase our ability to follow through on that promise to ourselves.

Kelly Clark is the Community Safety Program Director at the Gay Alliance.  The Gay Alliance Anti-Violence Project can be reached at 585-244-8640 or safe@gayalliance.org. Reports of victimization can also be made on line at www.gayalliance.org.