If you follow our blogs here at everybodysgood.com very closely, you will know that a few weeks ago, Paul posted a blog about "Shifting Views of Pride" that has sparked a lively little dialogue in the comments section.  In these comments, one of our readers, "Xandor," has made some pretty controversial claims about Pride and about queer behavior, life and health.  (Click HERE to take a look.) 

I have remained silent in this conversation, thus far---but have at least been interested and excited to see such a lively dialogue happening here  on our site since that is one of the many reasons we created everybodysgood.com   However, in light of Xandor's most recent post I would like to chime in-----because it was and is our vision that this space and this site be someplace where queer people and their supporters and allies can be safe and supported and find honest, holistic and dynamic information and conversations about queer lives and queer health.

I am concerned that a post/comment that closes with the statement "the gay lifestyle does kill" is straying pretty far from our intent----and is not in keeping with our mission here at everybodysgood that ALL queer lives and queer people are inherently valuable.  In fact, statements like "the gay lifestyle does kill" are an example of the very kind of stigma that I think Kat was trying to point out have made it challenging for queer people to be & remain healthy.  So let's be clear about a few things....

First and foremost...I don't believe any of the posts thus far in that discussion have been "heterophobic."  Rather I think that a couple of queer people have used the forum to express their own perspectives on their lives and reactions to what they've read.

Second, I would be disingenuous if I didn't acknowledge that I'm more than a little uncomfortable having an individual who self-identifies as NOT being a part of the LGBT community making sweeping generalizations about what the "gay lifestyle" is or is not or what "gay behavior" does or does not include.  What, I think, initially came across as an individual struggling with their own demons about their community (or at least their perception of it)----has quickly shifted to feeling a bit more like an attack on LGBT people by someone who is not even a member of our community.   As a proud (and HEALTHY) queer man, this feels inappropriate to me----as inappropriate as if, as a white person, I was to make broad statements about how people of color do or do not live...or, as a man, I did the same thing to or about women.

Thirdly, Xandor's allegation that her HIV infection was the result of a needle stick in a public park by a used syringe---used by someone, by her own admission, of whose gender, race, age, religion and sexual orientation she has no knowledge---demonstrates that even her primary concern has nothing to do with the "gay lifestyle" or, potentially, with gay people at all.  Queer people did not create HIV.  Queer people are not the sole route of HIV infection in the world----and, as such, queer people do not bear responsibility for the spread of HIV.  In essence, every case of HIV in the world---as accidental and/or unfortunate as many may be---cannot  and should not be traced back to or blamed on queer people or the "gay lifestyle."

Finally, and most importantly----let's be very clear:  Being gay does not kill.  The gay "lifestyle" does not kill---if for no other reason than, quite simply, because I think we should reject the idea that there is even such a THING as the "gay lifestyle."  LGBTQ people are not a monolithic group of people all cut from the same cloth who live identical lives and share identical values.  We are a rich, diverse and beautiful community who are as varied as the world in which we exist.  

Do some queer people engage in behaviors that others may judge as unhealthy? Certainly....and that's why a site like this exists...to educate and empower members of our community to be the healthiest self they can be.

At the end of the day, however, let's also remember that the world over there are queer people who are THRIVING---queer people who are living happy, fulfilling, exciting and HEALTHY lives....

....and THAT is something in which I think we should all take a great deal of PRIDE!!!