Last weekend as part of the Better Health, Better You series (a partnership between AIDS Care, Rainbow SAGE, and the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley) I presented on stress, including stress during the holidays. Since everyone, not just older adults, can experience stress during the holidays I figured I would share my tips with all our readers.

According to a 2006 study of stress during the holiday season by Mental Health America (the most recent one published on the topic) there are three key holiday stressors or sources of stress: finances, memories of loved ones who have passed away and having too much to do. Below I'll tackle each stressor and give you tips to decrease them.

1) Finances - Frequently finances cause stress for folks during this time of year because if you celebrate holidays that demand gift giving, include travel and/or hosting celebrations you may be incurring extra expenses not usually part of your budget (if you have one). Also, if you are already struggling financially, these added expenses will only add to your debt.

My suggestions for addressing this stressor are simple: Assess your finances before spending (or pause and do it now). Decide how much you can afford, stick to that limit and clearly communicate your financial boundaries with those around you. I also recommend finding creative ways to decrease your spending that still allow you positive experiences. Ex: Can't afford plane tickets to see relatives for the holidays? Set up a Skype date to decorate the tree together or to "share" a cup of coco. If you don't have internet access at home, sending a letter to let loved one's know you're thinking of them with your favorite holiday memories is another alternative.

2) Memories of loved ones who have passed away - The Harvard Medical School Family Guide has two main approaches to this issue: either incorporate the memory of a loved one into a celebration (i.e. lighting a candle at the dinner table in their honor, having their favorite story read, saying a prayer in their remembrance, etc.) OR if reliving old traditions without a loved one are too painful find a new or modified way to celebrate (i.e. go on vacation instead of being home during the holidays, go out to dinner instead of cooking at home, or attend a religious ceremony but not the party afterwards if your partner always did that with you).

In addition, recognize that celebrations can bring a mixture of positive and negative emotions and that you should feel ok experiencing all of them.

3) Having too much to do - The recommendations for this stressor are similar to the finance suggestions. Assess the situation (i.e. what do I NEED to do vs. what do people expect me or want me to do), decide what activities you want to or need to committ to and then set clear boundaries about activities. Again, finding creative ways to celebrate holidays with less time committments (i.e. Skyping vs. traveling, electronic vs. paper Christmas cards, etc.) will also decrease your stress.

What else do you do during the holidays to decrease your stress?