Blogger Joe Kort gives his perspective on being a gay Jewish boy in the 1970's. We really liked what he had to say and so we thought we'd share:
WHATEVER FORM IT TAKES, INTOLERANCE HURTS
Being Gay and Jewish
Anti-Semitism. Being Jewish, I knew of the concept growing up but never actually suffered from direct acts of it. I knew epithets like "Jew boy, "kike," and "Jew them down" existed but never had any of these words or phrases directed to me personally.
I was raised in Oak Park, Michigan in the 1970s when it was predominately Jewish. My mother wanted us to be raised in a nice Jewish neighborhood and to be surrounded by "sameness."
I worked at a grocery store, and every holiday season both Christmas and Chanukah decorations were displayed. It seemed equitable. I believed at the time that the whole world was like that.
Equal opportunity. We had a token "non-Jewish" friend in my social circle, a guy who found it endearing to be part of the group. I had plenty of opportunities to see other Jewish role models. Even as Oak Park began to become integrated, I still had a lot of contact with many other Jewish people.
I was first faced with being a minority in college, where I was the only Jew in a new social group. There were no menorahs displayed during the Christmas/Chanukah season, only Christmas trees. Even so, people were sensitive to the fact that I was a minority and endearingly referred to me as the "token Jew."
My friends and acquaintances were careful about what they said about Jews and asked me a lot of questions.
For the first time, I felt different. I knew the difference between being in the minority and being in the majority. But I also knew it on a deeper, more secretive level.
When growing up, I heard names like "faggot," "sissy," "pansy," "queer," "momma's boy," and "homo." Not only did I hear these terms in reference to others, I was called these things throughout my life. I have not received the same respect for my minority status as a gay male as I have for being a Jewish male.
Although I knew the term for fear and hatred of Jews anti-Semitism, I did not know there was a parallel term for gays and lesbians: homophobia.
Homophobia is the fear, disgust and hatred of sexual love for members of one's own sex. It is a prejudice based on a personal belief that lesbians and gays are immoral, sick, sinful or inferior to heterosexuals.
Although I know some non Jewish people in society feel this way about Jews, I have never encountered this fear, disgust and hate as a Jew to the extent I have as a gay person.
I did not follow the typical male patterns of most boys growing up. I could not throw a ball, I liked to play house and I disliked all sports. I was told by the other boys my age (as well as adults) that I "acted like a girl" and must be gay. It just so happened that I was gay and was mortified that I had been exposed.
At least as a Jew I could have turned to my family, friends or school if I had experienced an anti-Semitic attack. But as a little gay boy, I had nowhere to turn. I was bullied, spit at, punched, called names, humiliated and threatened. The schools did nothing to protect me.
My sixth-grade gym teacher told my classmates that my best friend and I must be "fags" because we spent so much time together.
I have an uncle who teased and taunted me, calling me a "little sissy girl." He told me I would never grow up to be a man.
He was right in that I was a "Sissy" by definition. But why was that so unacceptable? My sister was a tomboy and no one made fun of her.
After hearing all these derogatory remarks about homosexuals, is it any wonder that no one wants to be associated with or be seen as a gay or lesbian? There is more support to hate gays and lesbians than there is to love, accept or tolerate us.
Unfortunately, an extreme form of hate also exists, and that is death. Acts of violence toward homosexuals are tolerated and overlooked in this society. Heterosexuals are affected by this too, sometimes just as severely.
Little boys like me who do not follow the typical male patterns are labeled gay, when in fact, they might not be. They get harassed often just as I was. Men are touch deprived by other men for fear of being seen as gay.
The murder of Scott Amedure by Jonathon Schmitz after the two appeared on a taping of the "Jenny Jones" show is a perfect example of how homophobia hurts and sometimes kills us all. Mr. Schmitz admitted to killing Mr. Amedure because he was concerned what family members and others would think as a result of his television appearance, that he was gay.
Mr. Schmitz reported feeling humiliated by having a member of his own gender reveal romantic interest in him. Why is that humiliating? Because we live in a society that perpetuates that idea.
And now the lives of those two men are ruined because of it. One is dead; the other, jailed for life. Both suffered.
As an adult male, I still do not enjoy sports of any kind. I affectionately touch other men and I still lovingly kiss my father on the lips when we greet each other. And I am gay.
I am every bit a man. I think however, that what people did to me was tragic. As a gay little boy and young man, I was not protected and felt very much alone.
While there are anti-Semitic and homophobic people in this world who might see me as twice cursed, I see myself as twice blessed.
I am proud to be a gay Jewish man.
Joe Kort

I just happened upon your article and it really hit home. When I was in junior high in the early 60's in California, there was this boy, Robert, who was very feminine-acting to the point of being absurd. I think that's how he handled it. Anyway, his last name came after mine alphabetically, so when gym lockers were assigned, he was usually next to me. I am not Jewish, but there were many Jewish kids in my school, including Robert. He seemed to be reviled by everyone. I never saw him physically abused, but he was verbally abused. As far as I knew, he had no friends. I was also a gay kid, but really didn't know it at the time. I had a fascination with Robert. We talked at times in gym. He was very wary at first, but I think he trusted me after awhile. I remember he was very sensual and flirty. He talked about going home after school, getting naked, and holding his cat on his lap, etc. He had a really cute body and I loved his dramatic expressions. I kept my distance, however, because of his reputation. I was also very careful, because I had begun to get a reputation as well! Since I was a year ahead of him, I lost track of him in high school. I still heard the derogatory comments. I had fanticized about him often, but I had by that time fallen head over heels for a hopelessly straight guy and carried his torch throughout high school. A few years ago, I logged on to my high school alumni web site. I noticed the asterisk next to Robert's name denoting "those not with us any longer" - so he had died. Accident? AIDS? I never found out. I am still very sad about this and I sincerely wish we could have been close friends, maybe even lovers back then. I feel I wasted a lot of time on false friendships and keeping up appearances, constantly worrying about what others thought, when the love of my life could have been right in front of me. But, what did I know, I was just a kid, I'ts tough enough being a kid, but almost impossible being a gay kid, and especially a gay Jewish kid. Thanks for your great insight. Sounds like you did OK after all.
John, thanks for sharing your very touching story with us and our readers here at everybodysgood. It is certainly a testament to our need to better protect our youth, to instill in them the ability to be themselves and importance of each of us speaking (and living) our own truths.